I’m guessing that when I finally die people are going to go thru all my belongings and try to find the “signs” well the signs are there right in their faces but why doesn’t anyone want to help? I developed depression and when I try to talk about it I get laughed at as if it’s a joke as if I’m a joke.. why doesn’t anyone care? I’m the type of girl who’s strong for everyone because I know that everyone needs that rock to hold them down but who’s there for me? Why is that when I try to talk to all my “friends” about my problems nobody texts back? Why is it that I hear stories about everyone having that friend they can turn to in a time of crisis and yet I have no one? From the time I was in elementary I was bullied first because of my skin color then because of my looks why didn’t anyone ever stand up for me? How is it that I’ve made it all the way to my senior year and yet I’m just now falling apart? Why is it that everyone has that one friend who’s been there since they were young and I don’t? Why doesn’t anyone wanna be there for me? Why is it so easy for me to be there for someone even though I know they’re not gonna be there for me? Why is it that out of all the people in the world I am the one alone? Why am I silently suffering? How can I take this pain away? I’ve tried to commit suicide but it was a fail.. why is it that out of over 80 people in my phone only ONE cared enough to show me he loved me? to show he cared? Why is it that I have “best friends” and yet only one cares?

I read that somewhere people who are the nicest have been thru or are going thru the worst things in life.. Well I wanna take the time to say that if my friend who cared for me is going thru something I want him to let me be there for him. I love him so dearly and I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him and I wasn’t there to help when I could’ve.